I was afraid of camping alone that first night, so I figured visiting a friend living on the beach would be safer than getting a hotel (this was 2020 — there were still so many unknowns). Stupid of me to think that was ok.
I remember sitting on the beach, scared shitless among 4 of his friends.
We’re outside, I kept telling myself.
But every time someone laughed, I held my breathe.
Could the virus float from them to me, I thought, carried by the wind?
I was excited to see my friend, someone I’d been close with for almost 10 years. And even though I thought that everyone automatically had COVID, I’d be sleeping outside soon.
He made me dinner — and I nearly had an anxiety attack over sharing food in close proximity. But I hadn’t gone out to a restaurant in months at that point, so having a conversation with someone face to face was incredible. Being completely untethered from everything back home also meant I could see my friend with new eyes.
When did this person go from being a college jokester to a man? It was like I was meeting him for the very first time.
